Assylum (2005) [DVD9]

Welcome to the ASSylum home of every sick and twisted anal violation imaginable. Five crazy anal psycho bitches from hell with a serious appetite for cock get all the sphincter pounding, asshole stretching, jizz gulping debauchery they can scream for. If psychotic rectal reaming, insane ass slamming and wind howling gapes is what you like, you've come to the right place!

Scene 1: Haley Paige, Jake Malone
Scene 2: Barbara Summer, Mr. Pete
Scene 3: Sandra Romain, Tony T., Van Damage
Scene 4: Flower Tucci, Brian Surewood, Jake Malone
Scene 5: Nicki Hunter, Jason Horne

Links: IAFD

Scenes include: Masturbation, Blowjob, Deep Throating, Cunnilingus, Face Sitting, Anal Sex, Cum in Open, Anal Creampie / Internal; Threesome - MMF, Double Penetration; Doggy Style, Doggy Style - Standing, Missionary Position, Cowgirl/Rev. Cowgirl, Spooning/Reverse Spooning, Piledriver / Reverse Piledriver, Perpendicular, Spit Roasting

Review by Roger T. Pipe: Show
Just when you thought it was safe to sit in your easy chair with a bottle of lube, he&s back. Tom Zupko is back my friends and spinning his mad web for a new company. By now we all know what he is capable of in both features and gonzo flicks. It doesn&t matter what kind of movie Zupko is making, he shoots hot sex scenes and generally adds a few twists that make his smut impossible to ignore. I&m not sure what he is going to do with Mayhem, but with Hustler picking up his features, it would seem that we are in for a continuation of the great gonzo action he shot for Elegant Angel. Sticking with tradition, he has packed his movies with some of the hottest on-screen fucks in the business.

Haley Paige is a good girl to use in the opening scene of any movie. She&s got a great body and there is something totally sexy about her. Zupko has her in a jail cell rubbing against the bars as she tells us that she wants cock in all of her holes. I like the tease footage as she rubs her tits against the bar and sticks her ass in the air waiting for something to fill it. Jake Malone comes in and starts fucking her butt with his tongue. I&m not sure how old Jake is, but he&s got that sinewy Clint Eastwood thing going for him. After cutting the tease a little short, they waste a lot of time with whole “taste your ass” nonsense. It just kind of gets things off to a bad start. The whole scene fits in with “side-show/roughish” sex thing that is so very popular these days. They both talk a lot of trash to each other which is fine, but the sex keeps getting broken up with A2M and stuff that just takes us out of the rhythm of what should be a fantastic scene. Haley is hot and everything is well shot. It just isn&t the kind of scene that I found arousing. Even the great facial at the end can&t quite make this one as hot as it could have been.

Barbara Summer does her tease in typical Zupko fashion. He has her in fishnets and rubbing oil all over her body as she talks dirty in her native tongue. Mr. Pete comes sniffing around, slapping her ass and looking to get deep inside this sexy blonde import. He bends her over, sticks his cock in her and warms her up with some swift strokes from behind. The oral sex is mostly face-fucking and Pete plugging her nose. Not my thing, but she seems to take it well and he gets his balls bouncing off of her chin. (Good thing this scene didn&t have Evan Stone or he might have crushed her windpipe.) Her oiled up cheeks slide down easily around his cock. I like the action a lot better in this scene because they don&t stop every few strokes to force a shitty dick into her mouth. Instead Pete just keeps pumping her rump and giving us some great looking footage as he moves her body from spoon into piledriver. That ass gets seriously worked over from every angle. She takes his load perfectly and gives us a scene that is really fantastic.

Sandra Romain is the best looking girl so far and she is the kind of babe who can handle hard action. She gets oiled up, shows off her body and one-ups the competition by taking a cock at both ends. One of the guys is Tony T who has something going on with his hair that is as inexplicable as anything Zupko has ever created. As usual he talks too much during the scene, but less so here than we are used to. They go right for her ass and she easily handles whatever meat the guys want to ram in there. When Sandra is doing the talking the scene is much hotter than hearing a guy do that. There is good DP action and Sandra is a superstar no matter what kind of scene she is in. The facial finish is fantastic and even though the scene isn&t entirely up my alley, it works more often than not.

Flower Tucci is a very sexy girl with a big butt, a great face and the ability to squirt like a fire hose. She shows off the aforementioned butt and demonstrates the wet skills during the brief tease. Jake is back with Brian Surewood to play with the dirty talking blonde. I don&t remember hearing quite so much nasty talk from Flower, but she does it really well. She squats over Jake and squirts in his mouth before bending over to let her holes be poked by fingers. With her lips working up and down on Brian&s dick, she takes Jake balls deep in her ass with ease. The anal is great of course and check out the jiggle in buns. That&s some nice looking smut. I have seen her in a lot of scenes lately that focus so much on the squirting that it takes away from her heat. This one doesn&t have that problem and that gives us a chance to see Flower&s anal skills for a change. Ass lovers will enjoy watching Flower&s butt get all oiled up during some hot anal action. The guys feed her enough cum to satisfy her for a little while and then give her a chance to give another big squirt shot.

The big finale stars Nikki Hunter in a big bathtub full of milk. This is a beautifully shot scene, but since I&m not on the Nikki Hunter bandwagon I think that this was a poor choice for a closer. Flower is just a lot hotter from start to finish and from head to toe. After the pretty tease with milk and flowers and all that jazz, the sex is as hard as ever. She is covered in milk and choked by cock during the blowjob segment of the scene. They make good use of a hole in the tub to get the dick into Nikki&s waiting holes. If you happen to like Nikki then you will probably enjoy the good stuff a lot more than I did. The action is very well shot, but takes an ugly turn late when the guy starts shoving her down into the milk like he&s trying to drown her. I&m just not into the violent imagery in porn. Fucking a girl just doesn&t make we want to kill her. Even if you happen to like Nikki, you might be put off by some of this stuff. What really finishes things off is that the scene drags quite a bit. It seems to go on forever and that can be great if you&re into the action. When you aren&t turned on by the girl or the sex it can be painful.

Anyone who has enjoyed Zupko&s gonzo flicks will find this a fine continuation of that branch of his twisted tree. The action is very well shot. The sex is enthusiastic and nasty. Most of the girls are pretty hot and they are all very energetic. Some of it doesn&t work for me because it&s just not the kind of action I like watching. As much as I love Haley Paige I can&t help thinking that she is wasted a bit in this scene. Sandra Romain does one hell of a hot scene that really shines when she talks loud enough to drown out the din of male-pattern chatter. I like the artistic style of the final scene, but sexually it left me totally cold. For my money the best scene has Flower getting her delicious ass fucked raw and solidifying her position as the hottest super-squirt girl in the business. This is a solid movie that didn&t always work for me, but that is only because some of the sexual antics are outside of what I want to see. It still scores high marks and I would recommend that everyone check out the Flower three-way because it&s some of the best ass-fucking you will find on the store shelves right now.

Review by Don Houston: Show
XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Extra's: The extras were kind of light this time since the length of the movie took up so much of the disc but it had a short Behind the Scenes feature lasting 4.5 minutes, biographies of all the performers, including males (with pictures!!! Thank you Mayhem for answering fan s!), some trailers, a photogallery, a compilation of the pop shots from the movie and a double sided DVD cover featuring Flower Tucci on side two getting a DP.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Assylum was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as originally shot by director Thomas Zupko for Mayhem. The colors were accurate, the grain levels fairly low once the action began (during the tease footage it was often too high though), and the composition of the shots generally favorable to the gals in most cases. I saw no compression artifacts and only a touch of mosquito noise to interfere with the action so the stylish visual ramblings of Zupko seem to have improved vastly over the last several years (maybe Patrick Collins of Elegant Angel had something to do with this factor). The stereo English audio was generally basic with little separation between the channels and not a lot of dynamic range to speak of. It wasn't bad though as I could hear the gals plainly and the music wasn't enough of a factor to mention in detail.

Body of Review: One of the directors in porn that I've rarely seen over the years has been Thomas Zupko, a man with a decidedly twisted vision of what does, or should, turn a guy on. Not known for pumping out cookie cutter product, at least I can safely say that he provides an alternative to what some refer to a the homogenization of porn (for the uneducated, that means many of the releases on the shelves are far too much alike, not a reference to gay porn). Now that Zupko is something of a free agent directing for several companies rather than being tied down to a single place, he has begun his mad spree to dominate porn by releasing Assylum for Mayhem XXX. The movie is an all anal extravaganza lasting well over two hours with a cast of anal queens that most guys would give their right nut to bone. That said, there was no acting to get in the way of your enjoyment other than the over the top sexual performances by a cast of talented people enjoying heated, and passionate, times together. Here's a look at the scenes for those of you not frightened off by this description, noting that there were no condoms used here to ruin your fun:

Scene One: Hailey Paige, the gal featured on the left hand side of the front DVD cover (in black & white), was up first as she demanded a dick in her ass while she teased the camera and masturbated inside what appeared to be a jail of sorts. With an oiled up ass (well, the rest of her body was oiled up too), she got me hot watching her pump the bars as though they were a large cock but when the time for the scene came along, she was lacking in oil so I was slightly disappointed. Her partner was a geeky guy known as Jake Malone; a man who could be Peter North's older, wimpier brother by the looks of him. He ate her ass out on the mattress before screwing her from behind (the camera angle prevented me from knowing if it was in her ass or pussy); only to let her clean his penis orally after that. She rode him some more in various positions before truly taking some anal action (with her doing most of the work!). With PTM and ATM between the scenes, she eventually took a facial but his blathering lowered the heat of the action (which wasn't bad when he could keep an erection).

Scene Two: Barbara Summer, a very attractive blonde with large breasts and a hot foreign accent, was up next wearing a black fishnet body suit on her oiled up body with her large breasts and ass hanging out as she pumped up and down a white curtain rod hung vertically in the barren room. Her partner was the irrepressible Mr. Pete, who went to work on that ass right away by fingering it (to stretch open for the action) and licking it with some spanking action to boot. He took her anally in a standing doggy position before giving her a chance to blow him but she slobbed his knob soon after for some ATM (ass to mouth) action too. He then went to gagging her in a deep throat with the nose clamped together act that some people seem to enjoy with her going back to working his shaft orally once he stopped. They did a lot more anal with her making some significant dirty talk until he popped his nut on her face (too bad she closed her eyes like he was full of poison and didn't swallow; still it was an okay ending for the less discriminating).

Scene Three: Sandra Romain, well known foreign bred brunette anal queen, was up next after following the tease formula with no clothes on and a willing ness to writhe around on the floor with her oiled up body. She licked the floor and looked a bit heavier than usual but it's not fair to compare her looks to the more attractive Hailey or Barbara since her skills are known as among the best in the jizz biz. Her partners were wimpy Tony T and studly Van Damage, each taking one end of her to work but switching out on a regular basis (ATM aplenty this time folks). Tony's ponytails looked girlish so he must've felt that talking a lot was in his contract (maybe it was a tribute to Star Wars' Princess Leia), which lowered the heat a bit. She also kept up the dirty talk, a much more effective ploy to raise heat, and the scene had some decent DP action before a good facial finish. It wasn't her best scene to date but the guys worked her over in a heated fashion and substituted energy for chemistry; a trick that often doesn't work (it did here because of her talents).

Scene Four: Flower Tucci, the gal featured on the front DVD cover with the big ass, has long been known in the porn world as an anal queen but the formulaic manner in which she worked for Seymore Butts has long since been set aside for the more varied actions she does with others these days (a good thing mind you). Her tease footage was the best of the bunch as she screamed at the camera while wiggling about in the same oiled fashion the others did. The PVC skirt and black mesh top worked well on her all natural body and I thought it was safe to say that her partners, Brian Surewood and Jake Malone, agreed with my assessment given their reaction to her fleshy ass antics. I could've used less of the urination act she did (squirting?!? Yeah, right!), especially on Jake's face, but the oral, vaginal and anal sex here were as passionate as anything I've seen her in to date so fans of hers will want to pick up a copy based on this fact alone. It ended after a few more rounds of her pissing trick and the guys dropped their loads as intended. It was an extremely heated scene for those willing to overlook the circus act sex aspect of it.

Scene Five: Nikki Hunter, another blonde with a reputation for heated, rougher than average sex, was up last as she took a milk bath in a darkened room with some Gregorian chanting going on in the background. The rose pedals added just the right touch with the candles on the metal stand so I knew when her real life partner, Jason Horne, walked in, there'd be some incredible fireworks (just in time for the Fourth of July). The milk didn't work as nicely as the oil did on the others but the tease was good (when the lights came on that is) and his ability to elicit a solid performance out of her undeniable (interesting use of the holes for the facets by the way). There was a section where he pushed her head under the milk that I didn't care for but my overall impression of the scene was favorable given the way in which she took him long and hard with all the taste testing she could handle between positions. Fans of Nikki's or anal in general will probably really like this one given the manner in which the couple had so much chemistry to go with their energetic performance and it was among her best to date. Whew!

Summary: Assylum is perhaps the most accurate portrayal of what gets director Thomas Zupko off I'm told so if you know what that means without reading the rest of my review, you'll know if you're going to love, or hate, the action. There was a lot of fuck for the buck this time and the energy levels were exceptionally high in most cases although some of it amounted to a grudge fuck more than a set of chemistry filled scenes. I'm going to rate this one as Recommended for all but the faint of heart, with true raincoaters and misogynists probably creaming in their pants at my descriptions (they'll want two copies of this one). Zupko is an acquired taste, much like female counterpart Mason, but if you like it, you'll love it!

Studio: Mayhem
Category: Anal
Released on: 5/30/2005

Starring: Brian Surewood, Tony T., Van Damage, Mr. Pete, Jake Malone, Sandra Romain, Barbara Summer, Flower Tucci, Jason Horne, Nicki Hunter, Haley Paige

Front: Show
Back: Show
Screens: Show